Latest - Aug, 2015
The goal of this website is to give support to people who are facing problems in their relationship related to cheating, abuse and narcissism. I am living in Europe and English is not my native language, I wish you will excuse me if I make some grammatical errors . I decided to write in English because I wish to reach as many people as I can around the world.
First of all, it is always better not to make a narcissist angry, since narcissists can be very vengeful. Another reason for not to upset a narcissist is that for so-called "normal" people (those of us who are not narcissistic), the revenge is usually only a short-term relief. It may turn against you once the sharpest peak of your anger has faded. You may feel you have sunk to the same level with a narcissist, and that is not a pleasant feeling. For a narcissist, taking revenge on somebody is usually not a problem, since they are often incapable of experiencing "normal" emotions and hence are incapable of feeling guilt and compassion.
Having said all that, if you still feel that (for whatever reason you may have) you want to make a narcissistic person feel bad, below are some tips as to how to accomplish that. If you wish to read about the methods I used to teach my mind and brain to get rid of an "addiction" to a narcissist, please visit page Recovery after Cheating and Narcissism .
What is a narcissist most afraid of?
The answer is humiliation, ignorance and overlook by others around them. If you can create a situation in which a narcissist feels his or her cover has been blown and other people see them as they truly are, that would be a perfect "revenge", because a narcissist is empty from inside and their worst fear is that others will see that emptiness. Be careful, however, that you do not do anything illegal in your attempt to create a situation in which a narcissistic person would feel bad. Also, do not let a narcissist realize that you have deliberately created such a situation, for he or she may try to get back at you with an incredibly nasty ways only a narcissist can think of.
A narcissist hates to be wrong
If you can prove a narcissist to be wrong, that is making him or her feel small and insignificant, a feeling that a narcissistic person hates. If there is a debate and you know that you are right about something and a narcissist is wrong, the best way is simply to present the waterproof evidence and then walk away, without too much explanation. If you start to talk about things or debate, a narcissist can magically turn things around and make it sound as if you understood them wrong, that they actually meant the same as you, but you just did not understand it. Another possibility is that they get
extremely angry and hostile. Both are unpleasant options, so the best thing to do is simply to leave a narcissist alone.
Ignorance is the worst thing that can happen to a narcissistic person, especially after they have made some sort of a mistake. The only thing that could be worse than ignorance is if you laughed at their face, but of course that is not wise, since you do not want the anger and rage of a narcissist to fall upon you. I have faced situations with a narcissistic person when I knew I was right about something, and I brought a written evidence (retrieved from Google, dictionary etc) and the person would not even look at what I got, but would instead switch to the narcissistic rage mode during which a narcissist becomes blind and deaf to all reason and just shouts and argues as if they suddenly went crazy. This is a form of a self-protection mechanism, since it is very painful for a narcissistic person to be wrong and so they are avoiding it at all cost. Rage is a mask a narcissist uses when they realize they are in danger to be proven wrong. Therefore the best thing to do is that you leave the evidence proving you were correct somewhere where a narcissist can easily find it and then simply leave and let them boil in anger in solitude.
If you are interested in learning about the methods I used to teach my brain to let go of the "addiction" to a narcissist, visit page Recovery after Cheating and Narcissism. These methods are used to overcome the mental pain due to cheating but they can also be used to break free and recover after an abusive relationship with a narcissistic person. If you are able to control your emotions, it is much easier for you to decide what to do with your relationship. If you are feeling depressed or anxious due to the problems in your relationship, visit this page to learn what you can do to help your brain and mind to recover: Training the Brain.
To read more about narcissism and how the mind of a narcissistic person works, go to section Narcissism. To read personal stories of life with a narcissistic spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Narcissistic Spouse. To read about cheating and how the mind of a cheater works, go to section Cheating and Infidelity. To read personal stories of life with a cheating spouse, go to section Personal Stories: Cheating and Infidelity. If you wish, you can read more about the content of this website and about my background from page Site overview or go to other sections by clicking Main Menu links (left bar).