Everybody has done it at least once, and it’s an awful experience. The format, remembering your work experience, digging up the grades you got on the leaving and junior cert, tracking down your work experience boss and reminding him who you are to get the reference, pure suckage. Especially when they don’t remember you. After all the time ye spent together too, how could he forget you? Dickhead.
But fuck him, you’re moving onto bigger and better. You’re writing your first (or possibly 9th) CV. He’ll be jealous when your working at “Fucking Sweet Inc.” or some such. And how’d you land that job? With a CV that rocked their socks off. So lets get started…
There are many formats to choose from when writing a CV. Everyone seems to have slightly different variations of the same list of things. I’d recommend you have it in this order.
- Personal Details
- Career Objective
- Major Achievements
- Work Experience
- Skills and Abilities
- Hobbies and Interests
Now I’ll explain each of these in further detail below.
Your name, address, phone number (mobile and landline), Email, Date of Birth, and Nationality should all be here. Don’t get fancy with any of this stuff. Just keep it plain and simple. They don’t want to know your nickname, but if everyone calls you Tom when your full name is Thomas, put down Tom. It could really fuck up your references if they ring a previous employer and they don’t remember a Thomas. If you’re called Richard though, ALWAYS put down Richard. Don’t ever be a Dick.
From when you hand in your CVs as well don’t forgot you’ve included your mobile number. So don’t answer your phone with “WHA YE WAN?”. A polite and perky “Hello?” is tons better. Friends might make fun of you for it, but they won’t be getting €6.06 – €8.65 an hour. Rollin’ in it bai!
If you include your email, check it regularly enough. 2wice a week would suffice. And date of birth goes DAY/MONTH/YEAR. Seen a few people fuck up that one.
This one is optional. Here you basically describe what you want to get from the job. Yes, I know. Money. Dur de dur dur. They know that, what they want to see here is something like:
“To use my experience and skill-set obtained from 2 years previous experience to help care for the elderly as an assistant social care worker, with a view to becoming a fully fledged Social Care worker in the future.”
Where you’ve come from, what you want to do in the job, and where you’ll hope it will lead basically.
As a teenager though, you mightn’t have this planned out yet. It’s best to omit this section if you can’t think up anything good for it. e.g. If you’re going for work in a deli and all you got is “I luv makin sambos”, just leave it. They won’t expect it for that kind of position.
What you can do is to write one or two sentences that describe the kind of person you are. Ask yer friends or family, because your idea of your traits is a lot different that what the world outside your head perceives them.
If you’re making a CV to send en masse to alot of different companies in different areas of work, leave out this. This section is for sending a CV to a specific company in a specific area of work. e.g. Catering, Social Care etc.
16 jagerbombs in one night isn’t a major achievement. It’s liver damage. In this section they want to see if you’ve done anything substantial for your previous employers. Yet again, as a teen, you’ve probably done fuck all. But you can count volunteer work here too. They want to see facts and figures. Results of your involvement in the company. We’ll keep with the social care theme, and as an example for that you could have:
“Spearheaded a fundraising campaign that raised €5000 for improving accessibility for disabled elderly”
They’d eat that shit up. You’ll probably need to brainstorm here for something good. Once again if you’ve got nothing substantial, lave it out!
This is the main bit of your CV. The chalk and cheese of the whole yoke. Thank fuck most schools do work experience as
part of the Transition year experience. It’s invaluable. Gives you around 3 things right off the bat to put here. If you skipped TYO, ya shouldn’t of. It’s great craic! Anyways, here you’ll want to be listing details about your position held. Company name, contact details, duration, position, roles and responsibilities of each post you had. You can include voluntary jobs also. Put your most recent job first on the list.
The company name and those factual bits are the easy bit. It’s writing the duration (if yer shite with dates) position, roles and responsibilities that’s the tricky bit. If you worked at the tills for a shop your roles and responsibilities might be:
- Served customers and operated cash registers.
- Dealt with customer queries and complaints.
- Participated in regular stocktaking.
Bullet point these and keep them short and sweet. These can be the hardest to work out. Ask your friends or parents for help and if your really stuck for what to write, ring the place you worked and get your duties. If you don’t have your official title, get your title too. You don’t say “Worked the tills”, it’s “Sales Assistant”.
Here they’re after your formal education in school. Name of your school and the years you attended. If you’ve done your Leaving Cert, put the results down. List of Subjects and the respective grades beside them along with your points down the bottom. Did TYO? Add that in.
If you’ve yet to do your Leaving Cert, put down your Junior Cert results. If you’ve yet to do your Junior Cert, go outside and play for fuck sake. Cerish these years god damn it!
SKILLS AND ABILITIES
Depending on where you’re applying, you may have certain skills you’ll want to highlight to your prospective employer. If you’re applying as a life guard you’ll obviously want to show your interest in Baywatch swimming and if applying for a secretarial role, you’ll want to show you got computer skillz to pay the billz eg. An EDCL or similar.
If you’ve gotten certs for anything like leadership or did mentoring in school add them in too.
List any abilities pertaining to yourself too. Unless you’re a dick (Sorry Richard) you can nearly always put in things like “Work well within a Team” and “Time-Management”, “Fast Learner” and “Team player” are almost standards at this point.
HOBBIES AND INTERESTS
After all that you get a chance to put a personal slant on things. Showcase your hobbies and interests to them, they can say alot. If you’ve travelled abroad, include that. In a band? They’d see it as working well in a group and confidence to perform under pressure. Set up a website for the youth of Kilkenny? No you didn’t, I did. Lying makes the baba jaysus cry. Whatever it is that you do in your spare time, be it Youth Group, Youth choir, orchestra, reading or whatever. Make a list, pick the best, and put ‘em down.
Dropping some names of any big groups that you’re affiliated with is also a good idea. If you’re in the Youth Choir, the employer’s daughter might be in it too. And that’ll raise his opinion of you.
Once you just keep it positive. Don’t say you like going out every weekend and getting shitfaced, even if you do. Re-work it and say “Very active social life”. It ain’t a lie, you snaky bastard you.
For the love of god, ring them before you put people down. Make sure they’ll give a good review of you if asked. If you have a great CV, ace the interview and then your prospective employer calls one of your references and they say “Richard? Oh that dick!” or “Richard who?”. You are fucked. Treble fucked in fact. It’s an instant fail and you’ll be branded a liar and cheat. In that order.
If you’re going for Car Salesman though, they’ll see it as a plus. \o/
Well that’s about it. Some short tips. Keep it formal, positive, spell-check, don’t waffle and don’t lie. Make sure it’s under 2 pages, and if it looks squashed it is. Cut some more crap out. They don’t REALLY give a toss about that medal you got for the egg and spoon race when you were 6. I know it means the world to you, but sweet fuck all to them.