Have Fun with a
How does this work?
Buy the DNA Collection kit. Use the detailed instructions, showing your victim how to collect DNA from the inside of the mouth. Collect your victim's DNA, make a show of mailing the samples "back to the lab", then throw the whole goobery mess away..
In a week or ten days, announce that you've recieved the results. --Comes with everything you need to "prove" a 99.9% match or a mis-match, at your discretion. If you want NOT to be related to your little demon-spawn brother, show him the certificate proving he's NOT of your royal blood (why, he must be adopted after all!)
Or would you rather your ex-girlfriend's child be yours . The test will show a DNA match or mis-match, at YOUR discretion!
A great joke to pull on your friends, soon-to-be-EX-friends and soon-to-be EX-family members. Just remember:
The possibilities are limited only by your imagination!
What the heck's in the test kit, anyhow?
Each kit contains all the goodies you need to utterly convince your mark the test they're taking is legitimate. An instruction sheet is included which denotes that the test is a joke/gag product, not to be taken seriously. No other documentation inside the box, reveals that the test is not authentic. You receive two certificates: one for a "match", and one for a "mis-match". Use the one you want and discard the other. Each certificate shows a legal disclaimer at the very top of the page, as shown below. We've heard rumors
that some customers have gone to the store and acquired a mysterious implement called SCISSORS, and have then CUT THAT PART OFF. Far be it from us to ever even remotely suggest such a thing, as it is almost certainly illegal and we have no doubt there's an entire government agency devoted exclusively to things like this, and they would immediately surround your home with an FBI SWAT team which would shoot first and ask questions later.
CAUTION: This item has the potential to be used irresponsibly. By clicking the "SUBMIT" button below, you agree not to use this product for purposes which may be illegal, immoral, fraudulent or hurtful to others. Like almost any item in existence, this product may be used for fun or for evil, depending solely on the intentions of the user. It is designed as a novelty/gag device. Be sure your "mark" has a sense of humor before unleashing this product upon them!
IMPORTANT. The purpose of a DNA test. or, in this case, a fake DNA test, is to determine if two separate people are related. We see orders come through our system regularly in which the customer inserts the same name for both donor fields. Perhaps they have some reason for completing the form in this manner, but we cannot imagine what it is. We fill all orders exactly as the customer stipulates, so if you type the same name into both donor fields, your certificates will bear the same name in both donor fields, exactly as supplied to us. However, please be sure this is what you intend to do!