How to Break Up - Ending your Relationship?
Breaking up with someone can be a mutual and calm agreement or can be unexpected, painful, and leave you heartbroken. Whether you are the one breaking up with someone or getting broken up with, there are right and wrong ways to approach this sensitive subject
How to break up - If you are the one initiating the break up.
Think First how to break up. Before approaching your partner with your wish to end the relationship, really put your reasons together and decide whether or not you truly feel a break up is what you really want. Think about what you will say and how you will say it.
Be Gentle. Breaking up is a very fragile issue to deal with because it involves a lot of emotions and attachment, so be gentle and sensitive when you talk to your partner about it. Do not start up an argument or point fingers. It is not your partner's fault that you are no longer interested and it is not your fault either. Sometimes people just grow apart and end up having too many differences; it takes two to get in and out of relationships.
Take yourself Seriously. If you decide that you longer wish to continue the romantic relationship, then take it seriously. Do not obsess about what new romances your ex-partner may soon be involved in. Focus on yourself and move on. If you later feel you made the wrong decision, then talk it out with him or her then, but do not constantly wonder about it or harass him or her about who they are seeing now.
Friends? The two of can decided if you want to continue being friends. This all depends on the status of your relationships. If you were ending on bad terms, then it would be best if the two of you went your separate ways; at least for a while until you both have your feelings sorted out and feel better about what has happened.
If you are the one being broken up with.
Do not Panic. Try your very best not to go hysterical when your partner says he or she wants to break up. Before getting defensive and worked up, stay calm and listen to what is being said and what reasons are being given.
Ask and Speak up. When your partner is giving reasons of why they feel a break up is best, ask questions if you have any or feel confused about anything. Do not be afraid to ask anything. You have a right to fully understand everything that is being presented to you. Make comments about what is being said as well. By talking it
out, you both will paint a clearer picture of what went wrong and why. If you speak up, you may be able explain something your partner may have misunderstood and took the wrong way.
Avoid Attacking with Anger. You may not like what is being said, but it will help or better the situation of you attack with anger. The only thing that will happen when you get defensive and angry, is worsen the break up and end it on a more painful term. If you feel that you cannot control your anger then tell your partner that you understand he or she wishes to break up, but you are not ready to talk about it at the present time. When you are ready to talk about it in a rational manner, then get together and share your thoughts.
Except and Respect the Break up. It could very well be that although your partner wanted to break up, you still feel you should be together. This is normal after growing an emotional attachment to someone. However, you must except and respect the fact that you are now broken up. This means giving your ex-partner the freedom and space they asked for. You may feel heartbroken and unable to move on, but begging or following your ex around will not bring the two of you back together, but risk the chance of the two of you being friends in the future (if you wish to). Focus on healing and moving on instead.
Healing and Moving On.
Ride out your Emotions. If you feel the need to cry, then do so. Crying will help you release the pain and realize the reality that you really are broken up, starting the healing process.
Talk about it. You should not have to go through this rough time alone. Talk to your friends and family about what happened and how you feel about it. Getting support and comforting is a big key to healing your wounds.
Seek Professional Advice. You may need more than crying and a hug to help you through this and feel the need to get an expert's opinion and advice. Talking to a counselor about your relationship and your pain will not only make you feel better, but will help you understand how and why things went wrong and how to prevent similar events from taking place in your next relationship. Plus, you can learn what things will help you heal greater and perhaps faster by discovering more about you and your pain.
If you need help getting through a break up, we are here for you! Just go to our experts for advice. Immediate Advice and you will receive a response from one of our counselors in 24 hours.