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Prepared by. Muhammad AlShareef
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells. 2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best.
- Category: Muslim Women's Issues
- Publication Date: 8 Rabi' al-thani 1422 (6/29/01)