How do I get laid? It’s a question asked by millions of guys, and not just virgins either. Everyone wants to know how to get laid in any and every possible scenario. Since we all weren’t dealt the same hand, we’ve jotted down 25 ways/tips to help you get laid.
Not every guy is the best looking guy in the room. Every guy can practice proper grooming habits, though. Don’t smell like a homeless man, and pop in a breath mint every now and then. Girls are looking for an excuse to sleep with you. Cleaning up nicely could be that excuse.
Have a Unique, Redeeming Personality Trait
The concept of peacocking is long-held to be a recipe for success. But if you peacock too superficially, she’s going to lose interest fast. Be funny, be quirky, be witty, be yourself. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to be something I wasn’t in order to bed the hot blond from two dorms over. And guess what? It never worked. Not because I’m not a catch (Solid 8 right here, ask around), but because a Bro is never as comfortable with another Bro’s equipment. If being the nice guy is your thing, stick to that. If being a dick is your thing, you should get another thing, but stick to that in the meantime.
Don’t be too aggressive with ordering shots. But it makes you seem fun, and girls are really just trying to have fun. Just try not to vom.
Have Dope Sauce Body Language
Interacting with a girl is entirely a confidence game. More than anything, you have to believe you are going to get laid, or that you at least can pull it off. Remember that if you are interacting with a girl one on one, there are no rules as to who is “above” the other. You’re both potentially interested, so it’s simply a matter of leveraging that interest that makes you look as awesome as possible. Body language, then, physically appearing to embrace and be in command of the situation, is paramount.
Make Self-Deprecating Humor So She Feels Comfortable
We live in a world where it’s easy to want to justify how awesome we are–we’re a narcissistic generation, perhaps indirectly, but social media has certainly changed the game in terms of how we’re viewed by others, which in return has made us want to be viewed in the best possible light. Hence playing up our strengths, hence coming off as narcissistic.
I’ve always found self-deprecating humor as a great way to deflect this. Even it if you are so cool, or that thing you are doing is such a huge deal, remember that you are just a dude, trying to successfully woo a girl. Nothing is set in stone. Make her feel comfortable around you by letting her know that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Appear to be Interested in What She Has to Say–Ask Follow Up Questions
You don’t have to actually listen.
You’re simply communicating that you ascribe value to her in a way that you don’t to other people, which is basically a more socially acceptable way of telling her that you’d very much wish to bring her back to your place and engage in adult activities. Latch onto something that she says, and try to pursue it via leading follow-up questions. Even if she doesn’t realize it, she’s flattered.
Look, Look Away Dance Floor Tactic The grimy dance floor is our generation’s mating chamber. It requires a drastically different flirtation arsenal than other settings, especially when approaching a girl you don’t already know:
1) Initially show interest by sneaking a look at her. Lock eyes, fill up that second with an assertive intensity, but then look away and go back to doing whatever it is you were just doing. This will establish your intention, but do so in a way that doesn’t completely give her the upper hand. Maintaining and even playing field is crucial.
2) Repeat this tactic at least one more time to gauge her interest. Have enough social IQ to know if she reciprocates in any way. Otherwise, refrain from being the dreaded “creeper”
3) Continue tactic, position your body in a way that shows interest on your part, and eventually pick the right spot to introduce yourself. I’ve always hated the non-talk, automatically start grinding thing–it seems quite rapey–so just preface your interaction with something as innocent as a “sup.” There’s a decent chance the blaring music won’t let her hear what you’re saying, so if you’re really struggling for words, just mouth a bunch of stuff and smile. She’ll smile back. Don’t appear to be too aggressive here.
Don’t Be a Debbie Downer
If you’re the type of person who makes casual conversation by complaining about how much you hate your job, your roommates, your financial situation, your overly expensive rent, or the bar you happen to be at, you suck. Like it or not, your bitching kinda makes you bitch. Unless you’re establishing common ground by complaining about your mutual hatred for Ke$ha, no one wants to listen to a Negative Nancy. Don’t suck.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex, EVER
I don’t care if the girl you’re hitting on has the same last name, hails from the same state, or looks like her goddamn doppleganger, for all intents and purposes, when you leave the house, your ex is dead. No one, and I mean no one, wants to hear about that slut — your friends included.
You don’t have to be the human equivalent of Yelp, but it doesn’t hurt to have a few clutch spots committed to memory: A great neighborhood coffee spot around the corner to cap off a date. A bar down the block that’s not quite as loud. The best 3 A.M. pizza slice on the West Side. That great sake bombing karaoke lounge that you think is in K-town. Be a master of your domain.
Compliment Her Without Being Cheesy