Can I get my ex girlfriend back? Is it too late to put things right between us?
Wanting to get your girlfriend back is natural after a breakup, but to succeed you need to be sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. If you just want to pay her back for being dumped, then you should think again and accept that it’s not a good enough reason to try to revive a moribund relationship. But if you genuinely love her and believe that you can be happy together, then you should think about what went wrong between you. Can it be put right, or are your differences really fundamental?
There needs to be some basic compatibility between you if you are to get back together. Can I get my ex girlfriend back? First you need to be sure it’s what you really want.
The first thing you should do is take enough time and space to gain some perspective on your situation. Emotions usually run high during a breakup, and both you and your girlfriend will benefit by spending some time apart while you come to terms with what’s happened. By giving her space instead of putting pressure on her to come back, you will do more to undermine her resistance towards you than all the begging and pleading in the world.
It’s important she should understand how you feel now. So write her a letter saying that you agree with the breakup. Say that you accept things weren’t working out between you, and that it’s best if you take a break from each other so that you can both start to move on. Wish her well, and tell her you hope to catch up with her later when you’ve both had time to recover.
Should you apologise? Certainly, if you have done something for which an apology is due; but keep it simple, sincere and don’t labour the point. You want to show her your best side, and make it clear that you are not going to fight her over the breakup any more.
Women are attracted to men who show an awareness of their feelings, so you will score points by accepting her decision and taking all the pressure off her. Thanking her for the great times you shared and telling her you’ll miss her will remind her how much she is cherished, but don’t lay it on so thickly that it makes her feel guilty. Make it clear that you will be fine. This precludes all feelings of guilt, and gets her wondering why you aren’t MORE upset.
How thoughtful were you when you were still together? It’s easy to put a lot of effort into being thoughtful at the start, but some men become lazy as they settle into a regular routine. They
can end up treating their women so casually that the woman no longer believes the relationship is a priority for them. This makes her feel insecure and resentful, and she soon starts to believe there is no point in going on.
Take this time apart to think about how you could set about making her happy in future. so that your relationship fulfils her needs. Showing her that you are not only a nice person, but someone who ‘gets’ her will go a long way towards convincing her to give you another chance. Try to make this into a habit, so that it doesn’t lapse when you do get back together; or you are likely to end up being dumped again.
Make sure you keep up an active social life while you are apart. The more in demand you are and the more fun you seem to be having; the more likely your girlfriend is to feel that she is losing something that is too good to miss. People want what other people have; especially if they fear they can’t have it themselves. Spend time socialising in mixed groups, so that your girlfriend knows that you have other options; but don’t start dating other women. That is dangerous and can easily backfire. You want to make her aware that you could find another girlfriend if you wanted to, but that you haven’t – yet.
Wait For Her to Miss You
However she acts, you can be sure that she is missing you; and if you follow these steps you will have succeeded in creating uncertainty in her mind. As she no longer needs to justify her decision to leave you, she will have time to think about what she wants, and whether breaking up really was the right thing. It’s perverse, but the more you behave as if you have put the breakup behind you, the more regrets she will is likely to have. Up until now she has felt certain she could have you back if she wanted. But now, seeing you moving on without her, she will start to fear she has lost you for good.
This is the right moment to contact her again. But you need to strike the right note, which should be casual but friendly. Don’t refer to the past. Talk about the fun you’ve been having, and the exciting plans you have for the future. Suggest that you meet sometime so that you can catch up.
Don’t put any pressure on her to agree. In the end, you can’t force her to want you back. You need to keep a light touch and find the right things to say. You are trying to rebuild the attraction between you, which is the ultimate motivation for her to want to get back together with you .