Even the most problem-riddled marriage need not end in divorce, there are many ways to help you if your are looking into how to save your marriage, and they can work if properly given the chance. True, a couple must work hard when looking into how to save your marriage. and they must be totally committed to making the marriage work, but it can be done.
A lot of things can threaten a marriage. Both internal and external factors can put pressure on the relationship. Boredom, monotony, ‘the seven-year itch’, loss of intimacy, and communication problems are internal problems, while an affair, the in-laws, and pressure from work are some external sources of marital tension. Often, the problem is a combination of different things, or an accumulation of many problems that led into one another.
The first step to save a marriage is to acknowledge that there is a problem, and that this problem must be addressed. Pretending that everything is alright and going on as before may be the easy option, but it will only make matters worse. With the passage of time, resentment may build up over unresolved issues and unmet needs. And before everyone knows it, one spouse suddenly walks out and it is too late to salvage the marriage.
The second logical step is to identify the problem and find ways to solve it. Open communication is necessary to make this happen. Incidentally, open communication is itself one of the most important methods to be used in how to save your marriage. In fact, without communication, there can be no real marriage. Two people can coexist in one house as husband and wife, but if they don’t talk to one another meaningfully and intimately, they may as well be roommates instead.
Communicating with your spouse does not mean chatting away until the wee hours of the morning, or sharing every secret and private thought with one another. Sharing and talking is important; it helps to sustain
intimacy within the marriage. But other forms of communication should not be overlooked: a touch or a kiss can express love much more movingly, and receiving a simple text message that says hello will brighten a busy day at work. Little gestures that couples use to let each other know that they are special and appreciated go a long way in keeping the romance alive in the marriage and indeed in keeping them together.
Other helpful tips on how to save your marriage are:
- Be respectful and civil to your spouse at all times, even when fighting. Think hard before calling each other ugly names or hurling insults that you might regret later.
- Listen without judgment. Allow the other person to speak his mind, without prejudging what he has to say or his motives for saying them.
- Do not keep scorecards of ‘things my spouse did wrong’ and ‘things I did right’.
- Sincerely apologize for mistakes and do not repeat them. Learn from past mistakes.
- Let bygones be bygones. Do not keep bringing up past hurts and mistakes.
- Learn to forgive.
- Be honest, but be calm and respectful while expressing feelings.
- Do something new together, like a sport or a vacation to a new place.
- Give each other space. Allow one another to have friends and interests that do not include you.
- Schedule a date night and spend quality time together once in a while, even though you may be very busy. Every now and then, treat each other like you did when you first started as a couple.
- Keep working on the relationship. Expect that there will be tough times, and commit to staying together despite them.
Hopefully this has given you some ideas on how to save your marriage. which with the right approach gives it the best chance possible.
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