Anime » Naruto Rated: T, English, Mystery & Suspense, Naruto U. Shino A. Words: 664, Published: 4/26
Naruto Gets Taxed
Following the events of [Insert the official, canon chapter you last left off here], Naruto went back home. He gets a letter from a collection agency citing him for "unpaid funds related to talent works". "This is absolutely insane!" he states, "How do these pricks have the nerve to claim such an atrocity. This is inconsiderable slander! Completely unfair, unjust and blindly executed!". The letter on the phone states that he will be receiving another letter to appear in court in the following days.
Naruto visits Shino and asks for advice. "I've got a problem. This one is unlike anything we've ever faced. I'm gonna need advice." Naruto begs. "Calm down, calm down. " responds Shino. "What is the nature of your problem, I'm sure we can find a solution." "I got a call from a so called collection agency warning me that I will get some papers to appear in court because of some kind of money that I owe." Naruto claims. "What in the hell are you talking about? What agency, What do you owe? Did you commit a crime in the past months?" says Shino. "I'm not sure what is that they have in mind." responds Naruto.
"Well apparently they think you did something or there wouldn't be any of these heavy accusations, as they sound like. Do you think the accusations are false?" asks Shino. "I didn't get any details, just a warning. It sounded pretty threatening." replies Naruto with a shake in his voice. "How accurate are these accusations?" asks, Shino. "Well, they got my address right. and. …. my name?" responds Naruto with a bit of doubt. "You said you were gonna get papers. Let me know how it goes." remarks Shino and leaves. "I'll see" says Naruto to himself in a deep breath.
The papers arrive in the mail, and Naruto opens the envelope. The letter reads:
Collection Agency v. Naruto Shippuden.
The Collection Agency are proud to announce that there is probably a significant amount of unpaid taxes in any form of currency at your disposal. Both, you owe an exaggerated amount of taxes, and you are well equipped to surrender the funds without any delays and for your sake, any hesitation (though we absolutely have no problem in any delays you may cause, since we can simply raise the interest, and we'd like to). There were several failed attempts in the past to request this amount of funds. It appears we have now succeeded. You are to appear at your nearest court (we will setup the date) and you are required to submit all the funds that are at your possession (they must be greater than the amount owed) or access to any of your accounts for appropriate deduction. You will not be told the amount that is due until the transaction is complete. You will receive another letter scheduling the court date. There you will be told in which respect do you owe the funds.
You can also call to pay by phone at 1-500-555-2318 with your checking or credit card information, or any other possibly deductible medium. You are to include all the funds required in one transaction (so it's best to have as much as you can) for the deduction. If any limitation (lack of funds, withdrawal limit on your credit card, etc.), the remaining undisclosed funds will continue to be deducted in a separate instance with an undisclosed, additional, initial, penalty payment and another undisclosed interest rate respectable to the time frame in between transactions. Thank you, and have a great day.
"What the hell is a credit card?" asks Naruto to himself. He shows the letter to Shino. "I have absolutely no idea what any of this means." says Shino. "Me neither!" says Naruto. "I'd like to send you off and tell you that you're on your own, but now I feel the need get to the bottom of these mysterious letters."